Honoring Dads This Fathers Day
With Father’s Day approaching on June 21, this month’s blog post is dedicated to all the dads. Whether you’re new to fatherhood or have been in your “dad era” for years, this post offers insight into the challenges fathers often face and practical tools for taking the first steps toward managing the many roles, responsibilities, and pressures that come with being a dad.
And YES, if you are in a father role, this is your invitation to engage with your emotions.
New Dads
Becoming a father brings a wide range of positive emotions: love for your new baby, joy at their arrival, a renewed sense of purpose, and immense pride. However, fathers can also experience postpartum depression, a reality that about one in ten men face and is still not widely talked about.
The transition into fatherhood is a major life change and can bring feelings of overwhelm and uncertainty alongside the joy. Lack of sleep, feeling disconnected from social supports and previous routines, increased stress with a spouse or partner, and adjusting to a new reality can all contribute to emotional challenges.
Symptoms of paternal postpartum depression often emerge three to six months after birth and may include:
Increased irritability
Increased drug or alcohol use
Decreased energy or motivation
Less enjoyment in activities
Difficulty concentrating
Thoughts of suicide
Stress during the newborn phase is common. However, when these symptoms go unaddressed, they can lead to negative outcomes for both fathers and their families.
Seasoned Dads
In counseling sessions with men who have more time in their “dad era,” many report feeling disconnected or stretched thin. Common themes include pressure to excel at work while also being fully present at home, difficulty staying engaged in both roles, and navigating busy schedules with little or no time for themselves.
Some fathers find themselves retreating into work, hobbies, or distractions outside of their primary relationships, not because they don’t care, but because they feel uncertain about how to connect or communicate with the people they love most.
Consider Your Emotional State
In the therapy world, there’s a saying: “name it to tame it.” When we bring our emotional experiences into conversation with trusted supports (whether family members or a therapist), we are better able to self-soothe, regulate big emotions, and move toward a calmer state.
Have you ever considered that what happens in your body physically can be a clue to what’s happening emotionally?
Tension in your neck may signal stress at work.
Sweaty hands might indicate discomfort or pressure.
Anxiety can show up as a racing heart or tightness in the chest.
Our emotional experiences often show up in the body first. When it comes to mental health, there is much to explore in what we feel, how we think, and how we respond.
Taking the First Step
There are many ways to begin engaging with your emotional experience. One simple practice is to pause when you notice a physical sensation and ask yourself:
“Is this purely physical, or is it connected to something emotional, perhaps an experience from the past?”
Another helpful tool is O.W.N. your experience:
Observe:
Notice what you’re thinking or feeling without judgment.
“I’m noticing that…”
Welcome:
Allow the emotion to be present without pushing it away.
“I’m feeling ___, and I’m going to sit with it for a moment.”
Name:
Do your best to give the experience a name.
“My chest feels tight,” or “This feels like worry about ___.”
Practicing exercises like these is a great starting point for attuning to yourself and your family. As we become more skilled at naming our emotions, big and small, they become not just mentionable, but manageable.
Your story matters. The many roles you play as a father are deeply important. If you’d like to explore your emotional experience further or learn more tools like the ones shared here, we invite you to reach out. Our therapists would be honored to walk alongside you.
Resources Utilized in this Blog:
Written By: Peter Carlson LMHCA
(206) 485-4332
peter@nonolifecounseling.com