Connection and Communication in Relationships

Have you felt disconnected from your partner when life starts to get busy? How do you possibly stay in healthy communication with them in a way that fosters connection?

Sometimes the simplest actions can make the biggest difference. 

Remember: your partner is the closest relationship in your life. It is always worth it to invest more in that person. 

Relationships take intentionality.

If you are struggling to feel connected in your relationship, take a look at these simple ways to foster connection and communication in your relationship. Your partner loves you and you love them, and these action steps are beautiful ways to show that love in action. 

Leave notes randomly

If your schedule makes it hard for you to see your partner during the day, maybe slip a note of encouragement into their lunch box or in their car. This note can remind them why you love them, or let them know you are thinking of them. These notes could brighten their whole day, especially if their love language is words of affirmation. 

Develop check-in questions together 

This doesn’t have to be a long list of check-in questions, just enough to make each other feel heard. Maybe start with three. Some examples are: “How are you doing emotionally between us?” “How are you doing physically?” “How are you doing spiritually?”

Give massages 

According to Cleveland Clinic, massage can lower stress and improve relaxation. This physical touch between the two of you can also improve connection. And just another benefit of giving massages: you both get to be in the same room and have intentional conversation! 

Be quick to apologize and forgive 

Taking a long time to apologize to your partner or forgive them when they have done something wrong can breed resentment, frustration, and cause you to feel disconnected. A simple “I’m sorry for ___” or “I forgive you for ___” may cause tears, but will be healthy for your relationship in the long run. 

Be willing to sacrifice for the other person 

Love is not self-seeking. Maybe you have been feeling disconnected because your thoughts and heart are turned inward. Relationships require sacrifice. Remember to seek after the interests of your partner, even if that means giving up some of your own. 

Listen and then ask questions

Challenge yourself to listen to your partner for at least 5 minutes without talking about your own life. When they stop talking, ask them more questions about their day or how they felt. This can allow your partner to feel heard and valued. 

Make them homemade gifts

Homemade gifts show that you have put time, effort, intentionality, and care into thinking about your partner. Sometimes actions speak louder than words and this can be the perfect way to show your partner that you care about them and want to stay connected to them. 

Prepare Enrich is a marriage preparation and enrichment program, lowering couples’ risks for divorce. Check out their blog post for more ideas on how to establish a deeper connection with your partner. Some of these ideas include:

Say hello and goodbye intentionally 

The smallest greeting can begin or end an interaction on a sweet or sour note. Choose to kindly say hello or goodbye to your partner, even if it’s quickly in passing or when they’re running out the door. 

Hold hands when walking or driving

According to the BC Medical Journal, hand-holding can reduce cortisol levels when stress occurs and can produce oxytocin, which helps two people feel closer and more connected to one another. 

Put your phone somewhere else during meals

Opening our phones removes us from the world in front of us and directs our attention elsewhere. Next time you sit down to have a meal with your partner, put your phone somewhere else so that you can have a present, uninterrupted conversation. 

The time and energy you put into your relationship will not go to waste.

Remind your partner that you love them through your words or simple actions like these. And even when you don’t feel that love, especially when you don’t, commit to your partner by staying connected to them and communicating often.