Power in Vulnerability
Vulnerability may be one of the most important things that we learn to practice in our lives. Being vulnerable looks like acknowledging difficult emotions inside oneself and being able to talk about those feelings with others.
Vulnerability allows us to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.
In today’s culture, vulnerability is not practiced often. How commonly do you find yourself having surface-level conversations with your friends versus vulnerable conversations? Do you have people in your life who you can discuss the difficulties you are going through with or do you typically hide those difficulties inside?
There is no doubt that vulnerability is difficult, but there are many reasons why it is important to be open with those around you. You can start TODAY. Choose one person in your life who you feel safe with and challenge yourself to have an honest conversation with them.
As we learn to be vulnerable, we can experience more freedom and lighter loads because we stop carrying all our burdens on our own. Additional benefits of vulnerability include:
Increased self-awareness
When we learn to be vulnerable with other people, we learn more about ourselves. Honesty about our feelings requires self-examination. Sometimes even just the simple act of “talking something out” can cause us to realize things we didn’t even know we were thinking or feeling. Confiding in others leads to an even deeper understanding of ourselves.
Fewer feelings of loneliness
It is not uncommon to feel constantly surrounded by people, but alone at the same time. Often this is because we have not confided in another person. We might know many people, but not truly feel known or seen by people. As we challenge ourselves to be vulnerable, it gives others the opportunity to see us as we are, helping us to feel less alone.
Deeper relationships
Vulnerability breeds intimacy in relationships. When we are vulnerable with others, it almost feels as if we have given them a piece of our hearts. It is important to choose the people we are vulnerable with wisely because it requires a lot of trust. But once this trust is established, vulnerability creates stronger relationships that are significantly less likely to be broken.
Creates opportunity for positive emotions
The emotions often associated with vulnerability include freedom, love, and peace. After we have the boldness to be vulnerable to someone, it creates a sense of courage and confidence in ourselves. It gives us the opportunity to be loved and cared for by others. Talking to a trusted friend also releases anxiety and cultivates peace in our minds. If we choose not to be open with those around us, we miss opportunities to experience these positive emotions.
If vulnerability is essential to healthy human functioning, but also a challenging thing to do, what practical steps can we take to get better at it?
Have a DTR (Determine the Relationship) conversation with a loved one
We often think about having these conversations in dating relationships, but we can also have conversations like these with family and friends. Maybe all it takes to start being vulnerable is to tell your friends that this is something you want to work on. Go to coffee and simply be honest: tell your trusted friend that you want to have a vulnerable relationship with them, not just a surface-level one.
Reach out when you are feeling down
Whenever you find yourself feeling sad or anxious, challenge yourself to tell at least one person about it. This might be a different person for different emotions, but it is good to never carry something all on our own. Next time you catch yourself in a bad headspace, text a friend and let them know in an effort to practice vulnerability and openness.
Practice confession + asking for forgiveness
Something that we often do not think to do is apologize to people that we have hurt. If there is anything that is weighing on you that you feel like you need to confess, it is important to listen and actually do it. It is not shameful to ask for forgiveness. Confessing to friends can alleviate resentment and help you develop an even deeper relationship.
Share a goal
When you share your goals with those around you, this gives your friends the opportunity to check in with you and ask how you are doing in reaching that goal. Maybe choose to share at least one thing you are trying to work on with someone you trust so that they can learn more about your heart and hold you accountable to that goal.
Challenge yourself to cry with people, not alone
Crying in front of people can be scary, but it is also a beautiful opportunity for deepening bonds and strengthening connection. When we cry alone, we rob others of the opportunity to love us, comfort us, and speak truth over us, as well as rob ourselves of receiving this encouragement. This might be hard, but if you challenge yourself to do this, you may see fruitful results.
Clearly, there is power in vulnerability.
If this is a topic that hits home and is stirring in your heart, check out Brene Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability to learn even further about its importance: The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown | TED (youtube.com)