Defeating Negative Self-Talk
Do you find yourself habitually talking down to yourself, unable to see the good within you?
You may be struggling with negative self-talk and poor self-esteem. Everyone wrestles with negative self-talk at some point in their lives. For some, it can be a constant spiral that is difficult to escape. Negative self-talk is not helpful. It plummets self-esteem, puts you in a negative headspace, and prevents you from enjoying social situations.
Would you say the same deprecating comments to your best friend that you are saying to yourself?
The answer is no. So remember that if you wouldn’t treat your friends in this harmful way, you shouldn’t treat yourself this way either.
If negative self-talk has affected your well-being and enjoyment of life, then it might be time to stop the cycle. You have power over your thoughts. There are many actions you can take to start replacing negative self-talk with kindness towards yourself to help boost your self-esteem.
Below are some ways to start defeating negative self-talk:
Keep a thought record
Write down every time you think something negative about yourself. Take note of the day, time, what you were doing, and what the thought was. You can set a goal to decrease the number of entries each day or each week. Recording these negative thoughts can help you become more aware of them and help before they become excessive.
Write down what you love about yourself
Keeping a journal of characteristics you love about yourself and accomplishments you are proud of can boost your self-confidence. Having these things written down is especially helpful so that you can look back on them when feeling down. Negative thoughts can be so intense that they crowd out the positive ones, so taking time to truly reflect on the qualities you appreciate in yourself can be very eye-opening and beneficial.
When you’re in a pit, ask a friend to tell you what they appreciate about you
Going through seasons of self-loathing should not be walked through alone. Invite your friends into those hard spaces, even if it requires intense vulnerability. Tell them that you are struggling with your self-talk. Ask them to speak life over you and remind you what they love about you. This exercise may be scary, but you never know how much of an impact it can make on how you view yourself.
Do things that make you feel good
When we feel good, we often talk kinder to ourselves. Go on a walk, eat a healthy meal, spend time with good friends, have a long nap, or read your favorite book. Investing time into activities that make us feel better can help our minds think better, too. You might be surprised to see how much kinder your thoughts are when you have just finished doing something you love.
Set SMART goals
SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. You can set these goals for yourself even when it comes to the thoughts in your head. A smart goal would be like this: Instead of having 30 self-deprecating thoughts a day, I want to lower this number to 15 self-deprecating thoughts a day within 3 weeks. I will write these thoughts down in my journal each day. Then, ask yourself why this change would be relevant to your life and whether you can realistically achieve this goal.
Learning how to switch negative self-talk to positive self-talk can give you greater enjoyment in life. It can allow you to focus more on loving others in social situations, boost your confidence, and ease your anxiety in the day-to-day grind.
Improving your self-esteem starts by using words that speak life.
Words of life will lead to abundant life. Use these activities above to start your journey of defeating negative self-talk!